i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
