if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize