i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i will never coherently bang her
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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