PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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