the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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