I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
