Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
