Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
