If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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