Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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