It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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