I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
