He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
