You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
