you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
