So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
