It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I understand Curling. That high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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