you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
