I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
