Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
