Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i love accidental penises.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
