If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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