I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
