his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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