Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
