Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
