i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
