she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
