last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize