he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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