i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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