hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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