Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
