Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
