1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
