you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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