that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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