I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize