It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We just shotgunned beers for America
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
