I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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