I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
