I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize