Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
