Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
