She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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