I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
