Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
