CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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