@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
