Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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