He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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