okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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