didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
