Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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