Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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