hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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