You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
