dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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