she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
